The day I learned vulnerability was a great strength as a leader

As a leader, I had convinced myself that I needed to have all the answers, stay composed under pressure, and always appear in control. I was the captain of the ship, and I thought that showing any sign of weakness would cause my crew to lose faith in me. I believed that leadership was about strength—about being the person who could handle it all, no matter what.

But that mindset led me down a path I didn’t expect. I started to notice something unsettling: my team seemed disengaged.

Meetings had become formulaic, our once vibrant brainstorming sessions were flat, and the energy that had once flowed freely in our projects seemed to evaporate.

At first, I blamed the team.

What I didn’t realize at the time was that the problem wasn’t them. It was me.

I was so busy trying to be the "perfect leader" that I built a wall between myself and my team.

I thought my job was to exude confidence at all times, to be the rock they could rely on. But by hiding my own struggles, I had become unapproachable, and I didn’t even see it.

Then came a turning point I’ll never forget.

One afternoon, we were having a team meeting, and I could feel the tension in the room. The conversation was stilted, ideas weren’t flowing, and there was this unspoken sense that something was missing.

I felt it too, deep down.

I realized that no matter how hard I tried to project strength, the disconnection was palpable. That’s when I decided to do something I had never done before. I took a deep breath, and for the first time, I let go of the façade.

I shared something personal. I told them about a challenge I had been dealing with—a project that had been weighing heavily on me, something I hadn’t been able to resolve, and how it was keeping me up at night. In that moment, I was vulnerable. I felt exposed, and a part of me feared their reaction.

Would they see me as weak? Would they question my ability to lead?

To my surprise, the exact opposite happened.

There was a pause after I finished speaking, and then something incredible unfolded. My team started to open up. One by one, they began to share their own struggles—the obstacles they were facing, the doubts they had been too afraid to voice.

The energy in the room shifted. Suddenly, we were no longer a group of individuals working together; we were a team, united by a common understanding. The walls came down, and in their place, a sense of trust and connection blossomed.

That meeting became a turning point for us as a team. From that moment on, we operated differently. We collaborated with more openness, shared ideas more freely, and supported one another in ways we hadn’t before. The impact of that single act of vulnerability rippled through our work in ways I could never have anticipated.

Looking back, I realized that my initial belief about leadership—thinking that vulnerability was weakness—was completely wrong.

Vulnerability, when used intentionally, is a strength. It’s what allows leaders to build genuine connections with their teams.

It’s what fosters trust, creativity, and ultimately, results.

What I learned that day changed the way I approach leadership forever. It wasn’t about pretending to have it all together; it was about being real, being human, and showing that I, too, have challenges and uncertainties. My vulnerability didn’t diminish my authority. Instead, it allowed me to lead in a more authentic, connected, and effective way.

Now, as a coach and trainer working with leaders, I see this same pattern repeat itself in organizations of all sizes.

Leaders often feel they must wear a mask of invulnerability to maintain respect, but in doing so, they unknowingly distance themselves from their teams.

When leaders allow themselves to be vulnerable, they unlock a new level of trust and engagement from their teams.

If you’ve ever found yourself feeling disconnected from your team, or if your team’s engagement has been lacking, consider this: Are you showing them the real you? Or are you hiding behind a mask of invulnerability?

The truth is, leadership isn’t about being perfect. It’s about creating spaces where your team can thrive, and that starts with trust. Vulnerability is the key to unlocking that trust.

If you’re ready to lead with authenticity and build deeper, more meaningful connections with your team, let’s explore how vulnerability can become your greatest strength.

As I reflect on my journey, I can’t help but think about all the leaders out there who are struggling with the same mindset I once had—the belief that strength means hiding your struggles. It doesn’t have to be that way. By embracing vulnerability, you open yourself up to real connections, deeper trust, and a team that feels empowered to contribute their best selves.

This is the message I share in my coaching and workshops: Authentic leadership doesn’t come from pretending to have all the answers. It comes from creating environments where people feel safe to be themselves, knowing that their leader is right there with them, imperfections and all.

Are you ready to step into that kind of leadership? If so, let’s connect and explore how I can support you on this journey.

Dream up!

Raluca